The Works: The Classic Collection by Pam Ayres

Author:Pam Ayres
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: England, Australia, Humor, Poetry
ISBN: 9781846074653
Publisher: BBC Books
Published: 2008-11-01T11:00:00+00:00

The Husband’s Lament or Well, You Certainly Proved Them Wrong

The flowers round our garden gate

Are strangled now with nettles,

The caterpillars got the leaves,

The road dust got the petals,

There’s cracks across the asphalt path,

And the dusty wind do blow,

I know they say ‘domestic bliss’,

But I dunno.…

There’s trikes chucked on the garden

And there’s writing on the wall,

The kids have smashed the wash house

With their little rubber ball.

The paint’s peeled off the woodwork,

And the gutter’s sagging fast,

I bodged it up last autumn,

But…it didn’t last.

And in our shattered living room,

The telly’s on the blink,

There’s fag ends in the saucers,

And peelings in the sink,

There’s holes burned in the carpet,

Where it smouldered half the night.

‘A Woman’s Work is Never Done’

And you certainly proved that right.

There’s barnacles in the goldfish bowl

And curlers on the floor,

The budgie’s out the window

And the woodworm’s in the door.

The leaves fell off the rubber plant,

The leg fell off the bed,

The smiles fell off our faces

And the back fell off the shed.

And you, who I adored,

One look and I knew I was falling,

You stole away my heart,

Beneath the moon and that tarpaulin,

It can’t be you beside me,

With your tights so full of holes,

Chewing through your supper,

All them piccalilli rolls.

We’ve been together twenty years today,

And there’s a moral,

We have no conversation,

So we never have a quarrel,

We hardly see each other,

So we never have a fight,

For ‘Silence it is Golden’

And we’ve certainly proved that right.

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